Published on October 28th, 2013 | by Emmi Jacqueline0
How I Found the Right Guy after I Got Dumpted by Text
Everyone has “that” ex, the one who sucks so much that you can’t even imagine getting into another relationship forever. For me, Will was that ex. He worked his way into my life, took over, and then cheated on me. I thought that was the worst of it, until I was dumped in a text message, while I was at a Red Lobster. I thought all was lost on the relationship front. If I couldn’t make it work with Will, then I was doomed to be single forever.
Keeping it Causal
To protect myself, I maintained a string of casual relationships over the next few years. None of them wanted anything more than sex, and while that was okay with me, I still wondered if I was capable of having a “normal relationship.” Two of my favorites from this adventure were John and Eduardo.
John was the rebound guy; we had both been dumped on the same day and bonded over our mutual mourning for our respective relationships. We had a lot of fun and I don’t know how I would have made it through the first few weeks without him. Amazingly, John and I maintained a wonderful and playful friendship over the years.
Another high point was Eduardo, who was just fantastically fun. We would meet up either secretly or drunkenly. One night, in a drunken stupor I ran to surprise him. (Drunk running is one of my secret hobbies.) Instead of a sexy encounter, we just yelled at each other until I ran off into the night. It was hilarious. Occasionally, we would watch movies and he would provide a unique commentary. “If Antonio Banderas was to walk through that door right now, and demanded you take your clothes off to fuck, you would, no matter who you are. If you say you wouldn’t, you are a liar and I don’t want to be friends with you,” he ranted one night. He and I still talk every so often.
But as much fun as I had with these casual hook ups, I wanted something more. I wanted someone that wasn’t only interested in what is going on between my legs. I wanted someone who wanted to know what is going on between my ears as well.
In all the wrong places
When I graduated college and moved home to Miami, I decided it was time to attempt something more than just casual relationships. So, like any girl new to town and in the 21st century, I looked to the interwebs and online dating. OkCupid seemed like a good idea, a free website promising fun and interesting companions. Instead, I ended up with Steve The Douche, STD for short. STD was everything I hated about Miami: an out of town asshole club promoter who thought his dick was God’s gift to women everywhere. He attempted to lure me with promises of partying hard and his budding career as club promoter. Get over yourself STD, 4 other “club promoters” work at my restaurant job.
Obviously online dating wasn’t the answer. So I put the search on hold. I figured I would just meet someone through a friend or at a coffee shop, when I least expect it. Then I met John: the edgy, cool hipster art student who sexually identifies as queer. I was sold. We hung out a few times and kept it casual, we both continued to see other people. It was nice to hang out with someone who wasn’t always thinking about how he could get me into bed. There were even times we hung out when we didn’t have sex! But this didn’t work out either; he couldn’t give me what I really wanted and deserved. And that’s okay, but it still hurt after investing time getting to know him.
And then it happened
Just like something out of a movie, I met my current boyfriend, Patrick, while I was running an event in downtown Miami. I was fighting with the Robert Downey Jr looking doorman to get one of his friends into the club who was wearing capris instead of the required long pants. There I was, a tiny 5’3” yelling at 6’ plus Ironman and there he was, watching me in his silly turtleneck. I thought nothing of it; I was just doing my job making sure the VIPs get into the party. But he saw my passion and loved my energy, which prompted him to hunt down my phone number and leave me a voicemail expressing his interest. When I listened to the voicemail, I couldn’t understand what was said or whom it was from so I deleted it. Logically, if it were important, whoever it was would call back.
I saw him the next night at another party. He approached me and we chatted a little bit. Later that week, we had a drink together and then dinner another night. Since then, it has been a whirlwind adventure! We sailed the Caribbean, took day trips to the Florida Gulf Coast, adventured around NYC on a tandem bike and spent days holed up in hotel rooms. And now we’ve embarked on our latest and grandest adventure yet: living together in the West Village.