Dating/Sex 15

Published on October 22nd, 2013 | by Kate Elisha

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10 Signs you are Dating the WRONG Guy

I guess we all get to be an expert on something, and, unfortunately, knowing how to seek out and, consequently, date the “the wrong guys” seems to be my forte. I will add that I am now happily married to the total “right guy,” but feel it is my civic duty to point out the warning signs to all of my fellow ladies out there.

Let’s face it, the dating world is tough, and we’ve all been guilty of turning a blind eye to some of the more questionable qualities of a man, in the hopes that we’re being too quick to judge. (It’s especially difficult to notice these unfavorable qualities when said man just happens to be ridiculously good looking.)

But ladies, take it from someone who’s been there and come out the other side. If the guy you’re dating displays any of the following traits, don’t waste time trying to convince yourself that you’ll be the one who can change him. Nope, you’re best bet is run as fast as you can.

You’re probably dating the WRONG Guy if…

10. He has a neck tattoo.

Ok, I know there are plenty of good guys with tattoos, and for a lot of women they can be a real turn-on. They certainly once were for me. (Unfortunately, they lost their appeal after dating one too many guys who proudly displayed their shitty stick and pokes administered by an inebriated friend at a party.)

But seriously, I don’t have anything against a meaningful, quality tattoo on a guy. However, when a guy decides it is a good idea to get a neck tattoo, he is subconsciously saying a lot about himself, and trust me, it’s not, “I’m a committed, trustworthy guy just looking to settle down.”

9. He takes longer to get ready than you do.

While good overall hygiene is a definite must in a man, there is a fine line between spending a few minutes and a few hours on the grooming process.

Chances are that if your guy has such over-the-top standards for his own appearance, he’s not going to cut you any slack in the beauty department either.

Even though it’s great to look your best, there are days when a girl just wants to be a bum. You know, the days when you don’t feel like showering so you throw a hat on over your greasy hair and then figure you may as well complete the look with some sweat pants UGGs, and makeup? What makeup?  The right guy will think you look beautiful even on days like this, but beware if the guy you are dating spends all of his free time in front of the mirror, because he may value looks over love.

8. He doesn’t call you (or return your calls).

Much like the book “He’s Just Not That into You” tells us, if he’s not calling you, he’s NOT into you. This seems pretty straightforward, but it’s amazing the amount of women who make excuses for why he hasn’t called them (or called back).  If he’s really into you, he will extend such common courtesy as answering the phone. If he’s not doing that, you’re dating the WRONG guy! It’s just that simple.

7. He doesn’t have any personal goals.

One of the best parts about having a significant other is that they push you to be your best self, attain your goals and reach your fullest potential.  And let’s be honest, a guy who has dreams for the future is sexy. There’s nothing like watching your guy set a goal and then working his ass off to achieve it. So, if you’re dating a guy who doesn’t seem to have any real ambitions, he’s either A) not yet comfortable sharing his ambitions with you or B) just plain lazy.

6. You haven’t met his family (or you haven’t let him meet yours).

While everyone has a unique relationship with their family, for good or bad, they are the people who helped shape us into who we are today, and there comes a time in every couple’s relationship when it’s important to introduce each other to these people.

So if he’s not making any effort to introduce you to the family, that’s a real red flag. Of course there may be a perfectly logical explanation, but he should want to show you off and introduce his family to the girl of his dreams.

Similarly, if the thought of introducing your mom and dad to the guy you’re dating makes you cringe, you should probably question why that is. It’s important that your significant other gets along with your family, and the right guy will understand that and want to spend time with the ones you love.

5. He’s just too nice.

I once had a guy friend who was one of the sweetest people I knew, treated me so well and had secretly been in love with me since the day we met. Everyone always asked me why we weren’t dating, and even though I didn’t have strong feelings for him at the time, I finally decided I really should give him a chance.

On paper he was perfect, but the thing that drove me crazy was that he was just too nice.  For example, anytime a choice had to be made, he always said he was happy with whatever Iwanted. He never got upset over anything, and while for the most part these are awesome qualities, there are times when you need an opinion of your own, and there are also times when you just need to get mad! I’m not talking raging mad, but I like to know that a guy is at least capable of a good old-fashioned argument.

4. He fights dirty.

Just like being too nice can be a serious problem, so can dating a guy with an untamable temper.  It’s natural to get upset and even argue with a significant other from time to time, but if a guy ever crosses that line and becomes either physically or verbally abusive, you need to get away fast.

3. He doesn’t make you laugh.

If you can’t laugh with someone, life is going to drag on a lot slower than it should. This doesn’t mean every guy you date has to be a comedian, but it’s so much fun when you can enjoy a good laugh together. If you and your guy have completely different sense of humor, you may want to keep looking.

2. The chemistry isn’t there.

As much as we may want to make a relationship work, sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. While the initial infatuation will certainly subside the longer you are together, it’s important that you have a “spark” when you first meet.  So listen to your gut, and if it’s not there, he might be the wrong guy for you.

1. You can’t picture waking up next to him for the rest of your life.

The bottom line is that no one can understand you like you. Follow your own instincts and be honest with yourself. If you can’t picture spending every day with this person and being truly happy, then you should focus on finding the one who you can picture that with.  Because once you do find that person, you’ll wonder why it took you so long :)

Kate Elisha


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Kate Elisha



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