Published on October 15th, 2013 | by Kate Elisha0
Who Told You Online Dating Doesn’t Work? I found My Husband
My early twenties was the time to date all of the wrong guys- you know the ones that met absolutely none of my standards for someone I would actually even consider getting serious with. (Let’s face it, the only real prerequisite for a 21-year-old girl is that the guy’s hot.) Oh, and if they were really flaky and pretended not to care at all about me, that was even better!
I’m not exactly sure what makes so many young girls feel the need to go through that Iwanttodateloserswhotreatmelikecrap phase, but my theory is that this process is a simply a necessary evil designed to show us how shitty our lives could end up if we married or got knocked up by a loser guy.
Fortunately for me, once I graduated college and began working at a job that didn’t pay by the hour, (You’d be amazed how incestuous a minimum wage job at Urban Outfitters can be.) I finally came to my senses and was suddenly repulsed by the guys I once drooled over. The only problem was, while I no longer wanted to date losers, I didn’t have a clue how one went about meeting the “good guys.”
Besides not knowing where to meet good guys, now that I was working a full-time job that couldn’t be performed while hungover, my time and sleep had became a commodity that I wasn’t willing to give up for some random date. No, if I was going to miss watching “How I met Your Mother” in my pajamas before falling asleep at 9:30, I wanted to know that my date had serious potential.
I explained my dilemma to my mother and was somehow convinced to try my hand at online dating. I was certainly skeptical, but I filled out a match.com profile anyway. I mean, what was the worst thing that could happen? I mean, besides meeting a stranger from the Internet who would chop me up into tiny pieces and bury me in some remote location where no one would ever find me.
I decided to jump in with both feet.
After writing and rewriting my profile and scouring my Facebook page for photos that perfectly captured my true essence – fun, but hardworking, quirky but not crazy, just an overall “keeper”- I held my breath, clicked “submit” and waited for the thousands of interested parties to flood my inbox with messages.
For the next few days I obsessively checked my inbox. I figured, if I went to all of the work to fill out that damn profile, I was going to find the man of my dreams damnit! Maybe the messages didn’t exactly come pouring in, but the ones I did receive seemed pretty non-serial killer like, so that was encouraging. But none of the messages were really jumping out me, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and scour the thousands of “single men in my area.”
And that’s when I saw him. He had an amazing smile that oozed confidence, and there was something so endearing about his plaid shirt underneath his plaid jacket- a total fashion faux pas but still completely adorable. I mustered up my courage and “winked” at the handsome stranger. (Winking is how one expresses interest in someone on match without committing to a full on “message.”)
The stranger’s name was Stephen. He was an east-coast transplant and a successful computer programmer. (The fact that he had a job meant he was already completely different than most of the guys I had previously dated.) We exchanged numbers and planned to meet the following week for coffee. I felt so grown-up planning a date a full week in advance!
The day of our “coffee date” came, and suddenly I was nervous, like really nervous. What was I doing going on a date with a nice, responsible man with a good head on his shoulders? Was I actually admitting to myself that I wanted a meaningful relationship? I was so overwhelmed and frankly terrified at this epiphany that I completely chickened out and canceled at the very last minute. I figured that was it. I had my chance to meet a great guy, and I blew it.
Lucky for me, Stephen was persistent and asked me on another date, and this time I even showed up. We met at a local wine bar, started talking and suddenly it didn’t matter how me met, but just that met. He was everything I never knew I was looking for, and he happened to feel the same way about me. From that night on we were pretty inseparable, and after just 6 months of dating, we moved into together.
It’s been three years since we met, and we are now happily married, living in our first home with our two dogs and cat Sometimes we forget that we met online, and then we laugh as we remember how weird and funny that is. Stephen still jokes about me making the first move by “winking” at him. So if you think online dating is a waste of time or you’re afraid to take the risk my advice to you is just do it. After all, what’s the worst thing that could happen?