Life a man

Published on November 21st, 2013 | by Kenji Makihara


I am a Japanese Man and Yes, We Do Have Sex; and Here’s Why

I am sick and tired that every time I say I’m Japanese, there’s always someone asking me about weird, sexless Japanese men. They are normally like, “Yeah, I read this article the other day and it said that Japanese guys were not interested in sex.” Well, you know what, they are dead wrong.

I know who to blame: the British media – namely the Guardian and the BBC. In the now famous Guardian article, the author says:
“Japan’s under-40s appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Millions aren’t even dating, and increasing numbers can’t be bothered with sex.”

Sure, many of us are not dating, but are we really uninterested in sex? But the BBC is even worse. This woman called Anita Rani wrote on the BBC website:

“Unless something happens to boost Japan’s birth rate, its population will shrink by a third between now and 2060. One reason for the lack of babies is the emergence of a new breed of Japanese men, the otaku, who love manga, anime and computers – and sometimes show little interest in sex”.

Doesn’t she know that the ‘otaku’ are not even new? They have been in existence since the 1970s and it’s not exactly a secret. Maybe she didn’t bother go Google ‘otaku’, but I wonder why any BBC editor didn’t point this out.

The bottom line is this: we Japanese have sex. I do and so do my friends, and apparently that’s what recent research has found out.

Here are the numbers

There was some research about Japanese sexual behavior conducted in 2013 (January) by Sagami Gomu, a top-notch Japanese condom company (who, by the way, make world’s best condoms. Their condoms are absolutely amazing! Trust me, once you try them you will never look back!) They did an online survey and got 14,100 answers from across Japan.

The results were… well, you will see.

How often do we have sex

The following chart shows how often people have sex. It only concerns the ones who are either married, in relationships, or who have other sexual partners.


20-something people who are in relationships on average have sex about 4 times a month, which means once a week. OK, it’s not that much, but I think it still counts; we do have sex. And it’s quite normal for Japanese couples to meet only once a week, especially when they work. So, if they bang each other every time they meet, that will make an average of 4 times a month.

How about those who are not dating?

The numbers above only concerned people who were married, in relationships, or who had other sexual partners. But what about those who don’t have a regular sexual partner?

The following chart shows the percentage of those lonely people who answered that they want to have sex.


Who said that young Japanese men were not interested in sex? 82.2% of 20-semething guys, who are not currently dating say they nevertheless want to have sex.

We’ve already seen that people who are dating are having sex. And the chart above shows those who are not dating also want to have sex. This is very different from what the Guardian and the BBC claim. So much for journalism!

How many cheaters are there?

This result makes for very curious reading. It shows the number of people who are dating or married and who answered (extremely honestly) that they had other sexual partners.


Right, this doesn’t make us look good. But, why would Japanese people bother having extra sexual partners if they were not interested in sex?

Just because we don’t date, it doesn’t mean we don’t want to get married

Now look at these two charts. This is the part that the British media often refers to.

Percentage of married people.


Percentage of unmarried people who are in relationships.


Even though it’s true that 56.4% of 20-something unmarried guys are not in a relationship – which the journalists get right – the number of married people is nearly triple when it comes to 30-something guys.

If this trend continues, it will mean that about half of the 20-something guys who are not dating now will get married in their 30s anyway. I would have to say that many young Japanese men still want to get married, even if they don’t date very often, contrary to the impression that the British media tries to portray.

Number of virgins

I think I’ve shown you enough, but, for curiosity’s sake, look at these charts.

Here is the percentage of people who said they have previously had sex.


So, while 40.6% of the 20-something guys are virgins, the number declines drastically as they hit their 30s and 40s. Remember, one of the weird guys that the BBC articles talked about was 39 years old and the other one was 38; they were almost 40. If they are virgins (they didn’t say they were, nor that they weren’t interested in sex), they are in the minority.

Number of sexual partners

The following shows the number of sexual partners Japanese people have had.


The average number of sexual partners 20-something guys have had is 7.4 (although they might be exaggerating a bit). Well, I guess I don’t need to say it again but…contrary to what the British media is trying to make us believe, Japanese people do have sex.

So, just stop saying that Japanese men are not interested in sex, because clearly it just isn’t true!

About the Author

Kenji Makihara

8 Responses to I am a Japanese Man and Yes, We Do Have Sex; and Here’s Why

  1. koba says:

    Good article. Dont want to ruffle any feathers, but this article in my opinion actually confirms how Japanese men lack interest in sex relative\i>to other countries. I agree that journalists look ridiculous by trying to justify lack of sex and negative population growth rate with the “emergence” of otaku. However, they are right that in relative terms Japan is a “sexless” country for various reasons may it be work or culture. They are also right if such a trend continues Japanese population will decrease by a third. It is a simple projection using the current negative birth rate.!ctype=l&strail=false&bcs=d&nselm=h&met_y=population_growth_rate&scale_y=lin&ind_y=false&rdim=region&idim=country:JA:KN:CH:US:FR&ifdim=region&hl=en_US&dl=en_US&ind=false

    In this graph you can see that Japan has a smaller population growth rate than North Korea. Thats an argument. However, population growth concists of birth rate and death rate. Probably, I will o my own research and see what contributes most to the population decay in Japan.

    Your article makes a good point that some Japanese men in their 20s do have sex. However, its very few if you compare to other countries. This is what the Western media is trying to say, but overdoes and exaggerates it. Nevertheless, it is true that Japan is in a predicament because of the lack of sex going on.

    P.S. Sex four times a week when you are in your 20s. Come on. This is actually an argument in favor of sexlessness.)

  2. edo says:

    I live in japan and I have to endure the sexless japan. I agree, japanese are not as sexless as people say, but the complications of human relationship in japan make it almost impossible to have a quality relationship. I have been living for over 2 years here, and you know? I have not had 1 sexual partner. And most people seem very inexperience (even while sex), it is really sad.

    Maybe they are into sex, but indeed, they are not. They are into something I still don’t understand, some idealised concept of sex that is not real, nor possible and that is why although they may be interested in something like “sex”, they end up with tenga eggs and crazy toys.

    The other option, completely impersonal sex, no emotions, no names no nothing… Sad too.

    So until japan fixes the way human relationships are hold, and how they see sex (I mean, there are so many misconcepts here, like Shiofuku), there is not going to be any progress.

    • Sexless In Japan says:

      Probably Japanese people have no interest in having sex with foreigners.

      • クリス says:

        That is completely false and the opposite is actually quite common. There is a big fascination with the west here. If you’re a decent-looking “westerner”, you would be surprised at the attention you would get. I’ve even seen average schmucks have luck here. As for the claims about sexless men, Western media obviously sensationalizes these problems. However, Japan absolutely has issues with relationships. I’ve heard it from many Japanese people themselves. Even making friends is a challenge. I always here Japanese people give excuses like “we’re a shy people” when asked about why men and women are always in separate groups and why they don’t talk to new people.

  3. Edo says:

    Besides, I had forgotten, I have been many times dating some… and we end up so sexless anyways…. I ended up giving up in japanese and looking for other cultures… Sex is almost impossible here.

  4. サミぽん says:

    I agree with edo! As someone born and raised in Japan, I know that there is difference between have an interest in sex, and having sex!
    Of course Japanese men have an interest in sex, a majority (that i have met) are incredibly horny; However I feel that in Japan we lack the interpersonal skills to engage in a sexual relationship with someone.

    I would LOVE to know the sample size and where the questionnaire was conducted. I could bet it was about 50 チャラい上智大学生! including the faculty…

  5. Sexless In Japan says:

    Man, give me your address. Finally found someone who wants to have sex.

  6. Walter Peier says:

    Are you serious? You take a statistic about the frequency of sex from a.. condom website? I call that the least representative study I’ve seen in my life. Why would someone not interested in sex visit a condom website?

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