Published on October 18th, 2013 | by Mechelle Lynch0
How I Slashed the Tyres of My Fellow Caribbean (Ex)-Boyfriend
I am fairly cosmopolitan but my street smarts deserve an A grade- at least I think so. I could be a real life NCIS investigator after some of the crap I have had to deal with. There was this one chap with whom I thought I was in an exclusive relationship with, but ever so often he would be missing in action at the most unusual hours.
He was your typical tall dark and handsome type, sexy and had with a body that would make any woman wet her panties. We met while attending a picnic at one of the more beautiful outdoor locations on my island. Littered with trees, wide open greenery, soft lush sand beneath your feet and an ocean as blue as the sky it mirrored; it was a slice of heaven.
Our being in the same location was purely coincidental but as they say ‘nothing happens by accident’. It was lust at first sight! We spent the day talking mostly in secluded areas and stealing long passionate kisses when we were away from the general group. That night was the beginning of our romantic interlude as we quenched the thrust that had ravished our bodies from the time we met with some wild, hot, steamy sex.
That was the beginning of our exclusivity, or so I thought. We were generally a typical couple, going to dinner, the movies, hikes, family dinners etc. Of course I couldn’t wait to jump his bones every time we were in a secluded area; cars, building, the great outdoors, it didn’t matter. We were always adventurous pushing the boundaries of all that was good and decent to satisfy our animalistic desires. We were in a relationship for about a year when I began to notice subtle changes.
His accessibility was diminished, or his phone would be going off in the wee hours of the morning while we were doing the horizontal nasty, and sometimes even vertical! His excuse to explain away these unsolicited interruptions or the reason he was MIA was such bullshit and usually I ended the line of questioning seething with rage; not because his explanation had more holes than a sieve but because he thought I was dumb enough to believe then; hook, line and sinker! His tales of being asleep or at work were phonier than a hooker in church on Sunday!
I guess he never figured that I had the capacity to undergo reconnaissance missions. My intense investigative prowess lead me to his ‘job’, and sure enough he was at work; ploughing some other woman’s fields! Apparently, she lived in the same district as he did. I guess he was enjoying the fruits of her tree! One fateful night, the spirits for the underworld posed me to teach him a lesson. I sought him out and surely enough he was on the ‘job’! I crept up to his car and launched a systematic assault on his tyres slashing all four of them to shreds (by ben). That would show him! Of course he dared not question me about this unfortunate event as he would surely spill the beans on his midnight rendezvous. I am not sure how he felt about the incident, nor did I care as any questioning on my part would have alerted him to the fact that I was well aware of his extracurricular activities, and may have had a hand in the unfortunate incident with his tyres.
What a feeling of satisfaction for me! I couldn’t hurt him where I wanted to hurt him most, but I succeeded to hurt him where he would feel it most; his pockets! There is something to be said for taking on the bitch role…it was invigorating and exhilarating. I had now committed what I am sure was a felony and punishable by law, but I felt thoroughly justified in taking out the rage that consumed me on his most precious possession; his car.
I soon found some lane excuse to call it quits with the lying bastard! I had my revenge. I would never advocate violence against another person but the things men expect women would put up with is beyond all reasonable comprehension. Not all Caribbean men are lying, cheating scoundrels; but they are few and far between. If you find one who understands that a woman is ruled by her emotions more than anything else, he is sure to treat you with some modicum of respect and consideration. It might serve us women well to do exactly as the title of the book says ‘Act like a woman and think like a man.’ This attitude however limits us in our ability to thoroughly enjoying the fullness of the dating experience with could lead to a meaningful relationship.