Published on October 20th, 2013 | by Mechelle Lynch1
My Cousin Sexually Abused Me and Said, ‘Let’s Not Tell Your Mom About This.’
It happened one day when my mother went off to work and left me home all alone. I was only 8 at the time and not very worldly. My favourite cousin who was 28 years old at the time showed up at my door and of course I let him in; after all he was family.
‘Come sit on my lap he said,’ which I did without hesitation. I was totally in love with my cousin. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. Any reason to get close to him was a good reason in my book! So I did a girly plop down in his lap, eagerly awaiting my usual hugs and kisses. I was snuggled inside of his bosom just like a kitten being protected by its mother. He kissed me on the cheek and nestled me closely; I was in heaven!
We started to talk about school and life in general; what does a kid of 8 know about life! ‘Let’s go into the bedroom,’ he said in a matter-of-fact tone. I held his hand and lead him there totally oblivious to his deceitful intent. We lay on the bed in the spooning position, and it felt nice to cuddle with my favourite person in the whole wide world. He started to caress my little body, it felt nice. His hands began to wonder beneath my skirt. ‘Danny?’ I asked questioningly, ‘are you allowed to put your hands under my skirt?’ ‘Of course’, he said with some measure of dominance, ‘we are family so it’s ok,’ he lied. ‘Are you sure?’ I persisted with my line of questioning. ‘Would I lie to you? You are my favourite cousin in the whole world,’ he said reassuringly.
All this time as his lying ass was rubbing my little bottom through my panties. Somehow his guarantee made it OK. His fingers gradually slipped under the waist of my panties and slowly moved down to cup my little girly parts. The two sides of my brain wrestled with each other. On one hand it didn’t feel good anymore but on the other hand that was my cousin and it was all right. I’m not too sure which side won that argument; I guess the one which rationalised the family aspect of things. I lay there in a daze not sure of what I should do or what he was doing. He never explained it to me and I didn’t ask.
His hands slid my panties down to my ankles so he could get easier access to my vagina. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed. Not sure why I was doing it; I guess I figured if I closed my eyes it was like it never happened and the uncomfortable feeling would go away; and uncomfortable it was. Only my mother had touched me there before, and it was neither here nor there; after all she was my mother! My girly parts we becoming moist and I couldn’t understand why, as there was no urge for me to go to the bathroom!
He then rolled me onto my back and spread my legs open, still toying with my va-jay-jay. He then straddled me. My little mind had not caught on yet to his unscrupulous intent (by ben). He took out his penis and placed my hand on his erect ‘member’. It felt like soggy noodles in my hand. I hated soggy noodles! He then started to move my hands up and down his shaft in a systematic fluid motion.
‘Do you like that?’ Danny asked. I nodded my head to the affirmative. I’m not sure why I did but soggy noodles were not on my list of things I liked. He began making weird moaning sounds and saying things like ‘oh yes, I like that. That’s a good girl. Fuck yes!’ all the while, moaning with pleasure.
When his penis was rigid enough he scooted down and lined it up with my girly parts and proceeded to rub his ‘member’ on my hairless girly parts. He did that with some vigour for a while. ‘Can I put it in?’ he drawled. ‘Put what in where?’ I asked with a hung measure of uncertainty. ‘Can I put my penis in your ‘nu-nu?’ he asked again. I started to giggle; he said ‘nu-nu’! ‘Don’t worry, it would feel good, we are family remember, and families only do things to make each other feel good. Don’t you want your favourite cousin to feel good?’ Of course I did!
‘Okkkkkkk,’ I said as I looked away shyly. All this time he was continuously rubbing his penis on my pubic region. After a while he placed his penis at the head of my vagina. At my age, under developed and all, nothing was allowing him to penetrate me. Or should I say, ‘something’ was not allowing this grown man of 28 years to complete his dastardly mission. As he applied force to thrust inside me I screamed in pain and began to cry. This was hurting, there was nothing GOOD about this!
‘Please stop,’ I sulked, ‘that hurts Danny.’ Through my tears and me trying to tear myself way from the pain he had just inflected on me, unintentional as it may have been, this was not what feeling good was about. It was not like getting presents at Christmas, it was not like getting your favourite ice-cream or going to a picnic; this was the opposite.
I was in full bloom of tears now and sulking like I did when my cat ‘Pusson’ ran away. He shushed me and begged me to stop crying. My sudden burst of tears must have killed his mood for in-between trying to comfort me he was placing his wet noodle back into his pants. After a while I began to calm down and the tears went away…slowly. He held me close and rocked me in his arm like a baby. ‘Hey cuz,’ Danny said, ‘let’s not tell your mom about this OK? I’ll bring you a present tomorrow.’ What 8 year old you know won’t want a doll or a makeup set! At that time it was a small price to pay for him hurting me. Now I’m not so sure!
Image credits: www.sxc.hu/photo/1017836