Published on October 18th, 2013 | by Mechelle Lynch0
The Fake Guy I Met on an Online Dating Site
After becoming disillusioned with the dating scene in my small Caribbean island, I decided to look further afield; let us face it, when you live on an island that is 66 sq. miles… well let’s just say it’s not exactly a smorgasbord of options.
Soooo… I signed up on a dating site to widen my horizons to go were my 66 miles could never have taken me. Europe, Africa, the Americas they were all accounted for; quite honesty I was looking for some adventure. Perhaps somewhere in my fairy-tale, the prince on his white horse would sweep me off my feet but for reality purposes a Porsche would do the same trick. After creating a hyped up profile with the most provocative picture I dared to share with the world, I met Gavin. He was your typical tall, dark and handsome type which was of course a no brainer. Jokes aside, I was also looking for a connection that had thus far evaded me: true, love, or whatever that was.
The honeymoon lasted for a bit; frankly I loved the attention. The thought of this guy so very far away being so into me was refreshing. Weird would arrive a few months later when he told me those three words everyone longs to hear: ‘I love you‘. Considering it was after some solid communication back and forth – I dealt. I have heard of people dating and getting married in less time that it took to build a house. So who was I to judge as my feelings for this unseen creature had developed into unimaginable proportions? In retrospect I was in love with the idea of being in love.
Now my grey matter was consumed with thoughts of his long, hard, lovely ‘member’ from the numerous sex messages we shared. Let’s just say my va-jay-jay was in a constant state of readiness. I had an itch that badly needed to be scratched. There is only so much action you can give to your BOB (battery operated boyfriend). However it soon clicked when he showed no signs of really wanting to come to my little slice of paradise. This was surely not the life I planned. At some point a girl needs to feel something solid between her thighs; oh yeah and an actual date as well as some love and affection would have been nice.
As our assumed commitment to each other grew to epic proportions, the world as I knew it turned on its head. In a moment of truth he revealed that his name was indeed not Gavin nor was it his picture he was displaying. Was his confession of love as fake as his name and displayed photograph? You might wonder how gullible one person could be but when you are generally a truthful and honest person, you usually assume that everyone possess the same moral compass as you do (by ben). What happens now? Should I continue this charade or should I count my losses and haul ass! Who the hell was he to assume that he could lie to me and still have my trust, my burgeoning love, and my respect?
All these questions and more invaded my mind, but the most prominent one of all was… who was this imposter? And there was still the question of my itch! What a quandary I had found myself in. How do I recover from this one? After much soul searching and a line of enquiry that would win me a job at any law firm, his true identity was revealed. I learnt that this tall dark and handsome character was indeed an ugly duckling (at least by society’s standards). He figured I was shallow and would fall in love with the appearance of the man rather than the measure of the man.
After much reassurance that my affections were not superficial, he showed me his true identity. He was tall, dark but sorely lacking in the handsome department. Somehow everything changed within me as the reality that I built around the Gavin character was shattered. Not because he was unattractive but because the trust factor was broken. I was able to salvage some modicum of hope that although he had lied about two fundamental things, he was still the same person I fell in ‘like’ with… fake name and all. We stayed close through the power of the internet with visual aids like Skype but there was something missing.
Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart. Your conviction must be strong when you decide to venture into one of these unorthodox situations. Consider he may not have given you all the details about his life. Is he married? Is he a psycho? Is he telling you what you want to hear while at the same time cavorting with someone else? And most of all, how long can you go without that preverbal itch not being scratched!
When trust is broken and reality is shattered, sometimes there is no reaching from behind that ruined curtain to salvage anything, no matter how much your heart wants you to. Trust your instincts; woman’s intuition is a powerful thing.